Therapist Session today

So I met my new therapist today that deals with DBT she did an assessment and told me what I would be doing. I will be seeing her once a week for as long as I need to could be along time. I will also be doing my group therapy once a week to where I am with other people like myself. I do hate how some people think its all in my head ( well pun intended) but its not. I would do anything to take away all the pain and suffering I endure every single day. I wish I could take others pain away to. I am friends with quite a few BPD like myself on facebook and I wish I could give them all a big hug when they have their bad days cause I know how they feel. For 11 yrs I denied every having a problem and I know I have a problem and slowly I am working on fixing it. I know that some think that by me claiming disability its being lazy and I do feel bad trying to get it but I cant function around crowds. I get along with strangers just fine but not authority figures or employers. I have lost a few jobs because of my Mental issues but I always thought I was fine.

Therapist says next week she is going to go more into what BPD is and how I got it. I told her my worse fear is that I got help to late and my oldest daughter seen to much and is scared of me. She thinks getting the help was the best thing. I grew up with my moms mental state and I use to dispice her but I dont anymore because I understand what she was going through now. Since becoming a new christian I try to see things in a different light. I believe GOD does things for a reason. I would of never met my husband had I never moved out here and i only moved out here because of the things that happened to me. He is the love of my life and hes been through alot with me. He married me for better or worse and I am lucky to have such a great guy in my life.

I know I complain alot but who doesnt have bad days I just express them more. I try to be happy and I am sometimes but alot of times little things can make me upset. This is why I am going to do DBT http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy It will reteach me how to deal with my emotions. For anyone wanting to know me better look up Borderline Personality Disorder its not well known I had never heard of it till I was diagnosed to me its a curse just like any other mental illness. But with mine I can get better but can take YEARS and might not work but the thing is I also have PTSD and MDD which make it harder. So before anyone thinks anything just imagine yourself in my shoes or anyone who has any kind of illness mental illnesses are just as bad as anything thing else. I do have sympathy for anyone with any kind of element.