Update

Guess its been some time since I posted on there. Thats the thing with BPD we tend to forget things or just put off things. Its been over a year since I sought the help I needed and everyday is a learning process for me. I am terrified of crowds and being around others. I am constantly  afraid of what I might say or do. I have turned down two interviews with a daycare because I know I cant do it. I just wish I was motivated to do things. One day I can be the next I just dont want to do anything. I know alot see things differently and think I blame everything on my BPD but I dont I wish it wasnt the case. Having this damn disease its not something I would ever want anyone else to ever have to deal with. For that matter any mental illness. Its hard to deal with them and what makes it worse when others just dont understand us at all or make no attempt to.